[Someone has left a festive wrapped package outside your room. The tag, in Hurricane's sloppy handwriting, is addressed to you by name, and it reads: "Happy holidays!" There is also a container of hand-made caramels.]
[She opens the door for Hiryuu to come in. Northstar's room is rather cleanly divided in two. On one side, there's a desk and a lot of books and other implements for studying and on the other, there's an exercise mat, a set of weights and other implements for exercise and fitness. Everything is very organized.]
What can I do for you, Hiryuu? Oh wait. First.
[She holds out up her hand that's attached to her new arm. For a high five!]
[Northstar's expression changes, imperceptibly. The edges of her mouth sink just a little and her eyes widen a little bit, but she's back to normal in a second.]
Yes.
You told me your real home is where your friends are. And that you could never turn your back on those that would remain here if you left.
[ She heaves a small sigh--of relief? resignation? tiredness?
yes. ]
Yes. I don't remember if I also said so, but when we arrived here almost a year ago, we thought that there was going to be some great opportunity for us to destroy the system as it exists--so that we could reunite with everyone and end the torture and capture of worlds. Our efforts have been stymied, though, I believe--by the fact that we are not on equal footing in power to our captors, nor do we have true freedom to really see and understand how that system works. ... I thought he was crazy for it, but maybe all along, Intensity was right--and the only way to put an end to all of this is from the inside.
[She keeps the smile on her face, but. It's becoming a little more strained.]
I remember you also said that those who had graduated and become part of the production...as it stands, they're too outnumbered to accomplish any kind of meaningful change of the system.
[She reaches out and takes Hiryuu's hand in hers.]
...perhaps the only thing to be done about it after all is to try and swing the numbers in our favor.
[ Deep inhale, and steeling her expression into one that's serious but doesn't reflect her own uncertainties. She needs to be confident about this--it's the decision she's made, after all. ]
But our allies need help. And our friends who have been lost to the other programs still need saving. I can't do much but bide time and hope from this position, and from back home, I can do even less. But... I've been offered an opportunity to join the crew, which could give me the chance I've been waiting for all this time.
[Theeeeeere it is. Northstar blinks a couple of times and looks down. She kinda knew where this was heading from the moment the g-word came up, because, well, what else could it be about. But Hiryuu saying it outright makes it...a lot more real.]
...you deserve it.
You deserve a reprieve from the life of being an idol. And more importantly, you deserve a chance to do more.
I'm not sure about that. If we're talking about pure contributions, Hurricane's done a lot more for this place than I ever have. I'm the one who helped get us into trouble more often than not. But... I want to pull my weight. I want to get back the people that we all miss--and to put an end to what they've been doing to all of us.
[Hurricane. Oof. That reminds her that that's. Gonna be a thing to deal with. But, they can worry about that in a minute.]
...I know you think that you haven't done enough in the last year. [They talked about in the truth game, after all.] I've already told you my feelings on that. So rather than repeat myself, I'll just say...
I have every confidence in you. And King. And everybody else, to make something happen. I just...selfishly, wish I could be there with you.
[ Being apart... is the worst. It's lonely and scary and it becomes so easy to doubt yourself and the choices you've made. She's already begun doing it and she's still here. And if they could all work together, the way they always have... she'd feel much more safe, even if it was a false confidence. ]
... But Hurricane and D.va... I think they're going to be here for some time yet. They're going to need you to help them get by. They're both very stubborn and private about their grief, you know--I'm sure, between myself and King and Intensity leaving... they're going to be hurting a lot.
King and Intensity's graduation...significantly affected them, I think. Diva was more open about it than Hurricane, but. [Hurricane isn't open about anything, so. That doesn't count.] Well. Anyway.
Be here for them. I know he's not open about it, but he's going to need your support just as much--maybe more than D.va. ... Even though I know I'm trying to do what's best for everyone in the long run--I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing him some deep betrayal by abandoning him here as the last remaining original unit member. It's a heavy burden to carry... and he's already got so many.
D.va's more open to talking about her feelings, but she also has tendencies to want to sacrifice herself for others... sometimes to extreme lengths. I worry about her not prioritizing her health, mentally and physically... I'm sure King would be worried too.
I will. I'll always be here for them, and for everyone on Heart Soldier Senshi. For that...you have my word. [But... ....she trails off. What Hiryuu says about the two of them...Northstar knows it's true. She looks at the ground and lets out a slightly frustrated sigh.]
I just...wish I knew how to get through to them without feeling like I'm compounding their pain.
That's a hard thing to do... I don't know that I've ever been good at it myself. ... If anything, I've had to learn that sometimes pain is a good thing, because it means growth--even if I hate it.
It might be easier, for the time being to try to distract them from the pain. Until they've had some time and it's not so fresh. Doing the things that they enjoy--racing, playing games, stunts... they both really enjoy those sorts of things. I think the closer you become, and if you're willing to share your own feelings and pain first--the more likely they'll be to open up.
[She nods. She goes over to her desk and grabs a notebook, flipping it open and writing things down.]
Who else do they have on the other teams that they're close to? I know Hurricane has Nemesis...it might be a good idea for me to speak to them about this as well.
[ Hiryuu takes her phone out of her pocket and holds it up for Northstar to see as she goes through the various profiles pointing out friends. ]
Aside from Nemesis, Hurricane is close friends with C and B on AlcheME! D.va... is friends with Nero and Serenity, too, I think. ... And Kaguya, but she's not here right now.
[Northstar writes their names and teams down as Hiryuu shows them to her.]
Okay...I'll speak to them soon. [She lets out a breath through her nose.] Regardless of what we do, they'll probably just be...quite upset for a while, but. It's alright. We'll be here to help them through it.
[...after a second, she lets out a wry little chuckle.]
You know. If they decide to follow in your and King's footsteps.
That'll make me the senior member of Heart Soldier Senshi.
Well, I wouldn't count on any of them following in our footsteps any time soon. But if that were to happen, I know we'd be leaving the role to a very capable woman.
I understand. I've thought similar things myself before--that the one good thing about Raijuu, Shuten, and Abi and all of the others being gone--is that they're not being tortured.
But I think--that's just something we tell ourselves to try to ease our pain. It's a different kind of suffering to be separated from the people you love--to never know when or if you'll see them again. And there's not really any real certainty that the program they've been moved to isn't also equally or more cruel.
And worse--this place has shown that it has no difficulties finding more souls to fill the empty seats left behind.
[ And that's why it's so important that they get this to stop. ]
...mmn. You're right. [She runs a hand over her face.] Maybe it's just another bandaid in the end. [But something Hiryuu says...kinda hangs in her mind.]
...if we are all able. To eventually escape. Put a stop to this production. Return to our lives...whatever those may be.
Do you think we'll ever see each other again, after that?
If my understanding is correct, the means to traverse the worlds always existed for both the inhabitants of hell and heaven. I don't know that that would stop existing even if we did destroy this place.
... If I'm truly realistic, the odds are that this place will have to continue to operate in some capacity. However, if we can infiltrate and revolutionize it so that it is no longer hell in anything but name, perhaps there won't be any need to take that sort of risk.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Day 313, night
[Inside the package is a Christmas gift basket and some hand-woven slippers.]
Day 337
Northstar? Do you have a moment?
Re: Day 337
For you, I have two. Come in.
[She opens the door for Hiryuu to come in. Northstar's room is rather cleanly divided in two. On one side, there's a desk and a lot of books and other implements for studying and on the other, there's an exercise mat, a set of weights and other implements for exercise and fitness. Everything is very organized.]
What can I do for you, Hiryuu? Oh wait. First.
[She holds out up her hand that's attached to her new arm. For a high five!]
Re: Day 337
I'm glad you're all fixed up now. How are you feeling?
Re: Day 337
Now, what can I do for you?
Re: Day 337
Do you remember that time in the onsen when you asked me what I would do if presented the opportunity to Graduate?
Re: Day 337
Yes.
You told me your real home is where your friends are. And that you could never turn your back on those that would remain here if you left.
Re: Day 337
yes. ]
Yes. I don't remember if I also said so, but when we arrived here almost a year ago, we thought that there was going to be some great opportunity for us to destroy the system as it exists--so that we could reunite with everyone and end the torture and capture of worlds. Our efforts have been stymied, though, I believe--by the fact that we are not on equal footing in power to our captors, nor do we have true freedom to really see and understand how that system works. ... I thought he was crazy for it, but maybe all along, Intensity was right--and the only way to put an end to all of this is from the inside.
Re: Day 337
I remember you also said that those who had graduated and become part of the production...as it stands, they're too outnumbered to accomplish any kind of meaningful change of the system.
[She reaches out and takes Hiryuu's hand in hers.]
...perhaps the only thing to be done about it after all is to try and swing the numbers in our favor.
/2
Yes. It's less than ideal, but--
Re: Day 337
But our allies need help. And our friends who have been lost to the other programs still need saving. I can't do much but bide time and hope from this position, and from back home, I can do even less. But... I've been offered an opportunity to join the crew, which could give me the chance I've been waiting for all this time.
Re: Day 337
...you deserve it.
You deserve a reprieve from the life of being an idol. And more importantly, you deserve a chance to do more.
Re: Day 337
Re: Day 337
...I know you think that you haven't done enough in the last year. [They talked about in the truth game, after all.] I've already told you my feelings on that. So rather than repeat myself, I'll just say...
I have every confidence in you. And King. And everybody else, to make something happen. I just...selfishly, wish I could be there with you.
/2
[ Being apart... is the worst. It's lonely and scary and it becomes so easy to doubt yourself and the choices you've made. She's already begun doing it and she's still here. And if they could all work together, the way they always have... she'd feel much more safe, even if it was a false confidence. ]
I'm going to miss you all terribly.
Re: Day 337
... And that's what I need your assistance with.
Re: Day 337
Mmn.
King and Intensity's graduation...significantly affected them, I think. Diva was more open about it than Hurricane, but. [Hurricane isn't open about anything, so. That doesn't count.] Well. Anyway.
What can I do?
Re: Day 337
D.va's more open to talking about her feelings, but she also has tendencies to want to sacrifice herself for others... sometimes to extreme lengths. I worry about her not prioritizing her health, mentally and physically... I'm sure King would be worried too.
Re: Day 337
I will. I'll always be here for them, and for everyone on Heart Soldier Senshi. For that...you have my word. [But... ....she trails off. What Hiryuu says about the two of them...Northstar knows it's true. She looks at the ground and lets out a slightly frustrated sigh.]
I just...wish I knew how to get through to them without feeling like I'm compounding their pain.
Re: Day 337
It might be easier, for the time being to try to distract them from the pain. Until they've had some time and it's not so fresh. Doing the things that they enjoy--racing, playing games, stunts... they both really enjoy those sorts of things. I think the closer you become, and if you're willing to share your own feelings and pain first--the more likely they'll be to open up.
Re: Day 337
Who else do they have on the other teams that they're close to? I know Hurricane has Nemesis...it might be a good idea for me to speak to them about this as well.
Re: Day 337
Aside from Nemesis, Hurricane is close friends with C and B on AlcheME! D.va... is friends with Nero and Serenity, too, I think. ... And Kaguya, but she's not here right now.
Re: Day 337
Okay...I'll speak to them soon. [She lets out a breath through her nose.] Regardless of what we do, they'll probably just be...quite upset for a while, but. It's alright. We'll be here to help them through it.
[...after a second, she lets out a wry little chuckle.]
You know. If they decide to follow in your and King's footsteps.
That'll make me the senior member of Heart Soldier Senshi.
Re: Day 337
Well, I wouldn't count on any of them following in our footsteps any time soon. But if that were to happen, I know we'd be leaving the role to a very capable woman.
Re: Day 337
Sometimes, part of me wishes they would.
I would miss them terribly. But I would also know they weren't being hurt by the games anymore.
Re: Day 337
But I think--that's just something we tell ourselves to try to ease our pain. It's a different kind of suffering to be separated from the people you love--to never know when or if you'll see them again. And there's not really any real certainty that the program they've been moved to isn't also equally or more cruel.
And worse--this place has shown that it has no difficulties finding more souls to fill the empty seats left behind.
[ And that's why it's so important that they get this to stop. ]
Re: Day 337
...if we are all able. To eventually escape. Put a stop to this production. Return to our lives...whatever those may be.
Do you think we'll ever see each other again, after that?
Re: Day 337
... If I'm truly realistic, the odds are that this place will have to continue to operate in some capacity. However, if we can infiltrate and revolutionize it so that it is no longer hell in anything but name, perhaps there won't be any need to take that sort of risk.
Re: Day 337
[A small, wistful smile comes on her face.] If I could travel to other worlds freely. I think I'd like to see your and Leviathan's world, sometime.
Re: Day 337